Bradley and the Beast
by Ayame99
Summary: When Alphonse loses a kitten inside Central Command, the Führer makes an unexpected discovery. Humour/Fluff - Contains Spoilers!


**CONTAINS SPOILERS!**

**A/N:** This is my first FMA fic and it's dedicated to a very close friend of mine that asked for a funny little story involving a cat and her favourite fandom. Characters were my choice and since I LOVE Full Metal Alchemist and adore King Bradley, that's how this one-shot was born lol! Bradley needs a little fic love I say! This is just a humorous little fluff fic that I hope gives you a chuckle XD!

**Title:** Bradley and the Beast  
**Genre:** Humour with a little fluff (literally at times) lol!  
**Warnings:** Very mild swearing! Whoa! That's new for me.  
**Rating:** K  
**Summary:** Thanks to Alphonse the Fuhrer makes an unexpected friend.

*** FMA (2009)Brotherhood-verse with one slight joke from the 2003 version***

**Disclaimer: I do not make any profit from writing this fic. I merely do it for my own shits and giggles.**

* * *

**Bradley and the Beast**

Inside the giant suit of armour was, well, absolutely nothing, nothing but an invisible heart easily the size of a watermelon, or three. The heart belonged to the boy that lived in the armour, the boy's soul that is, for there wasn't any actual living matter inside. His name was Alphonse Elric, most people call him Al.

Al was scanning the enormous hallways of Central Command nervously as he moved through the belly of Amestris' main headquarters. Some might say the armour appeared to be sweatdropping as the seven foot clunking suit of metal followed his older brother Edward Elric. They were trying to locate Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, who was supposed to be somewhere around headquarters at the moment.

"We'll just get permission from Hughes and then we're all set. Right, Al?" Edward was charging ahead determinedly, his white-gloved hands fisted at his sides. But he got no reply from his younger brother so he tried again.

"_Al...?_" he questioned suspiciously, his voice becoming whiny.

Al snapped his attention and his glowing red eyes frontwards. "Yes, Brother!" he agreed, although he wasn't sure what he was agreeing to.

"Right..." Ed sighed and warned, "Well, be prepared for a night of reading, Al. It's great that I don't have to ask that _jerk_ for permission." The smaller blonde-haired sibling began making mother hag-like faces that he thought resembled the colonel, Roy Mustang, and laughed evilly at his own jokes.

"Uhh... sure, Brother," Al replied uneasily.

Noticing how Al sounded kind of distracted Ed spun on his brother. "Al, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Brother, I... I just have and itch." Alphonse gasped and corrected himself immediately since metal didn't get itchy exactly. "I mean, I... I was just thinking about Winry's apple pie again," he said longingly even though he was lying.

Ed's face immediately softened and so did his voice. "Ah, it's ok, Al, I get it. I completely understand. I promise as soon as—"

"What are you promising, Fullmetal?"

The new voice made both brothers startle.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, sir," Al addressed politely. "We were just coming to look for you."

The tall bespectacled man with scruff along his jaw line gave them a big smile. He immediately took on an animated look of glee as he announced. "I know you're planning on coming to my house for dinner so you can play with my darling Elicia, weren't you? You know how she has a special place in her heart for you boys. We have a game of Twister ready and waiting."

_Twister?!_ Ugh, Ed never could digest the cooing way in which Hughes carried on about his family. It made him want to vomit.

"Well, sir..." Al began uncomfortably.

"Nope, that's not it, Lieutenant," Ed told him simply, not even appearing fazed or compassionate towards the fatherly State Alchemist.

Hughes began to rub his chin thoughtfully. "Then you'd rather go out for ice cream and—"

Ed lost his temper and his patience and grabbed the scruff of Hughes' blue uniform front. He yanked the man down to his size and yelled in his face, "Stop messing around, Lieutenant! We've come here on business."

Hughes held up his hands in retreat. "Ok, ok," he said and backed off. He composed himself and looked down at the young blonde boy with the long braid down his back. "So, what do you want? What has brought you here so late in the evening? I was just on my way home, ya know. Don't you boys know when to call it a day?"

"Rest is for the dead," Ed claimed lamely, arms crossed.

"We came to ask you something, Lieutenant." Al enlightened.

As Ed began to explain how he needed permission to research a restricted line of books, Al began to scan up and down the hallway again. This time he thought he saw two bright eyes shining at him from far down a dark hallway behind him. He turned abruptly.

Ed and Hughes were still talking.

"Of course you have my permission, Edward," Hughes said, "But on one condition."

Ed wore a surly look on his face. He didn't like where this was going. "What is it, Lieutenant?"

"You have to come over for dinner and play with Elicia." The Investigation Officer knew how to play this game. However, he also knew that these boys could probably use a little home cooking. And a break from their depressing mission of understanding everything there was to know about the Philosophers stone.

"All that just to read some freakin' books?!" Ed stormed loudly.

Hughes smirked and gave Ed a thoughtful look. "Maybe those books will hold all the secrets you've been looking for," he suggested seriously. "Anyways, one night won't hurt. Gracia is making a marvelous dinner of roast chicken, mashed potatoes and buckets of delicious gravy. I hear that dessert will be a surprise."

The man was nearly drooling.

But now... so was Ed! He couldn't compete against hot delicious food and recalled that he hadn't eaten since breakfast. Man! He could smell and taste it already!

"Let's go then! What are we waiting for? Bring on the Twister—I'll kick your ass!" Ed agreed all smiles and laughter now as he and the Lieutenant warbled back and forth on the spot rubbing their now growling tummies like a pair of idiots.

"Err... Ed, where's Al?" The Lieutenant Colonel wondered when he realized the usual shadow of armour was nowhere to be seen. He was looking up and down the hallway.

"AL!" Ed cried out for his brother. "Alphonse, stop messing around!"

The thudding clank of armour appeared way down at the end of the hallway. "I'm here, Brother!"

"What are you doing over there?" Edward was looking confused and perplexed. _What is Al up to now?_ He wondered.

Al hesitated before hanging his head in defeat. "It's nothing, Brother. I just thought I saw something and I wanted to check it out."

Ed glanced uneasily over at the Lieutenant, who was looking back at him. He had no explanation to give.

"Well, he is a boy after all. Even when I forget sometimes by looking at him in that armour," Hughes stated. "Can't keep young men from wandering off to explore and find adventures."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Al. We'll come back in the morning," Edward explained. "It's probably too late now anyways."

Al hesitated again before he complied and met up with Hughes and his brother. They began to walk towards the exit of the enormous fortified building.

"Geez, Al, what d'ya find, another cat or something?" Edward taunted, chuckling. His brother: the sentimental softy with a big heart and a weakness for cute fluffy things.

But when Al didn't respond right away, turning his head to the side guiltily, Ed cut his brother a glaring look. "Tell me you didn't?"

Al lowered his armoured, spiky head. "I'm sorry, Brother. It got away from me."

"Is everything alright, guys?" wondered Hughes.

"Everything is fine, Lieutenant!" Both brothers exclaimed together.

Maes Hughes was taken aback, but for only a moment. Then he just laughed. "Boys will be boys, I guess."

* * *

As evening settled over Central Command, most people leaving the military headquarters atop of its concrete hill in the heart of Central, another person (if you could call him that) settled into his favourite cushy armchair inside his enormous study room. Central Command wasn't just a station that contained the highest ranking members of the military; it was also Führer King Bradley's home.

This was his favourite time of day when the hustle and bustle of running a country came to a slow pace, if not, ceasing completely. This was perfectly fine by him—spending a day being pissed off from listening to people moan all day wasn't what he'd call fun. And it was difficult not to feel pissed off, even at the best of times, for a guy like him. He was the homunculus Wrath after all.

His idea of fun (other than tearing down some folks with his swords) was this moment of solitude, a nice fire burning on the hearth, a cup of hot black tea waiting inside the daintiest little cup and saucer, and a book (that appeared to be a poetic collection of Amestris's finest authors) filled, however, with the steamiest literature known to mankind.

"Oh, ho, ho!"

Oh yes, humans were very creative, imaginative creatures to say the least. And when he could not have his beautiful wife all to himself, when he could play with strands of her soft hair and pepper feathery kisses along her neck just to make her laugh as she complained that his moustache tickled her, moments like this filled some of the void in his life.

Tsk! That brat Selim, who paraded around as a small child and as his adoring son, was nearly _always_ clinging to his most prized possession. Something he'd fought for by his own volition and cherished since nothing in his life was of his choosing. Selim: the homunculus Pride and Bradley's older sibling. Pffftt! It angered Bradley to no end.

Sometimes he really did read a book of actual value, but tonight he thought not. Some strange part of him urged for mischief and a hankering for deviousness. Anyone that knew King Bradley knew he had his 'moments'.

So the Führer simpered quietly as his one human blue eye mused over the words of his book, his left eye covered with the ever-present eye patch. The patch may hide his ouroborous tattooed eye, but it didn't stop its amazing power. His Ultimate eye covered or not, still gave him an advantage.

Right now it was telling him that some living creature was approaching his door. He closed the novel, placing it on top of two other books, 'How to Oppress the People' and 'Humanity 101', on the side table next to his chair and stood up. Bradley grabbed and withdrew the sword he had propped next to his chair since he wasn't wearing his full uniform but just a simple white shirt and army issued blue pants.

There was an infuriating scratching noise coming from the other side of his door now. Bradley swung open the door and nearly decapitated the head of a little white kitten. However, the sword was skillfully stopped just in time as a pair of the sweetest green eyes looked up at the Führer and the kitten made a terribly cute sound at him.

For a moment Bradley felt a mix of pure annoyance at being interrupted by the likes of such a creature and outright admiration that it had a mastered skill of humbling him.

Undeterred, the tiny animal began to thread around his ankles, purring unafraid.

Bradley was beside himself. "Well, well, what do we have here? How ever did you find your way inside Central Command, hmm?" He sheathed his sword and knelt to scoop up the kitten with one large hand. He walked over to the desk in the middle of the room and set the sword on top of the finished maple, and with both hands brought the cat to eye level for further inspection.

The kitten was hanging securely within Wrath's grasp as its body and hindquarters dangled in midair. It mewled again but angrily this time and took aim at Bradley's nose with a clawed paw, swatting at him furiously, going from cute to nasty in a mere heartbeat. But with Bradley's Ultimate eye he could 'see' what the furry beast was about to do and dodged it easily enough.

It brought a smile to King Bradley's face. "My, for such a small creature you're pretty brave. I'll give you that." It wasn't everyday that any sort of being got that close to maiming him. Nevertheless, he understood what was bothering the animal and repositioned it more tenderly in his arms, almost as if he were holding a baby.

"My apologies for dangling you that way, I don't think I'd be a happy camper either if someone did that so unceremoniously to me," Bradley told the beast.

It wasn't like the Führer had never seen a feline before, but it wasn't like he actually had a chance to acquaint himself with one. Being Wrath and the leader of Amestris sure ate up most of his time and there really weren't many animals around Central Command. Father wouldn't even get it. And even when he was younger he never really thought to bother with animals. He was too busy working towards the title of Führer.

Once, his wife asked if they could get a kitten for Selim, but then he completely forgot about it. And he didn't want to let that brat have this one.

"So, what do I do with you?" Bradley questioned the kitten.

As if it knew it was being spoken to, it made that cute sound again.

For some reason Bradley didn't seem to care that he was talking to a cat, or that it probably didn't understand a damn thing he was saying. Nor did he seem to care that he was acting childish like his wife was always accusing him of.

He touched the white fur that beckoned to be petted—it was just so inviting. Instantly, his infernal wrath was forgotten as he ran his thick fingers over the softest fur he'd ever felt. It was such an unexpected feeling of contentment that King Bradley rarely ever felt. He smiled genuinely.

"I believe I understand now the fascination humans have for your type," he jovially told the kitten. Then he mused at the irony he just realized, "And to think that humans treat beasts like you better than they treat each other."

The utter stupidity of it had the Führer roaring with boisterous laughter.

"I'll never fully understand them, those humans," he stated ruefully with a shake of his head. He wriggled a finger into the soft belly of the animal that took the movement as a signal to play. It began to swat and try to bite his fingers, creating minimal pain and oddly, some pleasure too.

"Boy, they sure do piss me off sometimes." Bradley explained to his furry friend who attacked his hand at full force, amusing him greatly. "They make you angry, too, don't they?" his voice sounding much softer.

Führer King Bradley was smitten with his kitten.

He returned to petting the cat that didn't seem to mind being held and began to purr. Bradley thought, he had found himself a true loyal pet and it didn't seem to care that he wasn't completely human, or a Führer, or that he was a pawn for Father's grand scheme. This creature didn't want anything but affection and perhaps nourishment.

_Nourishment!_ Bradley realized the beast might need to eat, like most creatures, and decided he would make a trip to the mess hall kitchen. He wouldn't dare go to his own residential kitchen where Pride might interfere, who was probably getting told a bedtime story by now. Lucky little shit, thought Wrath spitefully.

Returning to all smiles the Führer told the feline. "How about we take a little trip? Stretch our legs a bit. It should be quiet now so we shouldn't have to take down anyone that gets in our way. Sound good?"

The kitten mewed.

"It's refreshing that you agree so easily."

Bradley left his study and meandered down the halls that led him far from his residence and into the business part of Central Command. Sure there was still working personnel here, but Bradley took routes that people normally didn't take.

That was for most but not for Roy Mustang.

The Führer quickly hid the kitten behind his back and stifled a growl. Of all the people he would rather avoid tonight, that person was about to exit a room on the right. There was no escaping the inevitable encounter.

The dark-haired man came out of the room and closed the door. He wasn't paying attention as he began to walk and almost bumped into...

Roy gasped and immediately saluted, "Führer King Bradley, sir!"

"If it isn't Colonel Mustang," Bradley said serenely, eyes crested in that unnerving diabolical way. "What brings you to this part of Headquarters?"

Mustang lowered his hand, blinking still with surprise to see the Führer standing before him so unexpectedly.

"Just wrapping up some loose ends," he replied and added, "If you don't mind, I could ask you the same thing, Führer."

"But I do mind," Bradley claimed calmly, and yet, oh-so darkly. He let the colonel sweat for a moment before he laughed outright.

Roy began to pale.

"Ha-ha! Relax Colonel. I was just thinking right now was the perfect time for a little snack."

The kitten behind the Führer's back mewed, but it stayed still.

Mustang's face went blank except one eyebrow which was arched questionably. "Um, sir, did you just meow?"

"I don't know what you mean. Sounds like a rather large rat, don't you think?" King Bradley was now looking down his nose at his subordinate with practiced intimidation.

Mustang had no proper reply to _that_ comment and saluted once again. "Right... rats. Well, I have a lot of paperwork to do. Enjoy your evening, sir." And as quickly as he could the Flame Alchemist turned and bee-lined it out of there!

"Have a lovely evening!" Bradley called out to him. He then chuckled to himself, messing with humans was just _too_ much fun.

He brought the kitten back to his front and proceeded to sneak into the mess hall kitchen that was deserted of military chefs at this hour. There was only the low hum of refrigerators and stoves with large pots on top of them full of reducing stocks. The air smelled of disinfectant and boiling bones.

"Now correct me if I'm wrong but you prefer meat, isn't that right?"

If the kitten could speak it'd probably say, 'Feed me chump.' But cats didn't speak and Bradley opened the large walk-in refrigerator door and found an entire platter of fresh fish still with guts and tail. He thought for a moment if he should grab the whole tray so that he could feed this animal later or tomorrow, or even a week from now.

He then he wondered. _Could_ _I keep it? Will I be allowed to keep it? I don't want to get rid of it! He was the Führer dammit he should be able to have any kind of pet he wants!_

Bradley could definitely feel his wrath at the thought that he might not be able to choose, not be allowed to have a choice. Even over something as simple as keeping a pet. His eye blazed with fury. He was sick of being a puppet on a string!

Angry, he picked up the fish and the kitten and hurried back to his study.

He shut the door and set one small fish on the floor for the kitten. The beast sniffed it and tore right in, tearing off small bits of flesh with its tiny, but really sharp teeth. Bradley felt satisfied with the sound of crunching bones and light growls of contentment coming from his new pet.

Deciding he had better get the rest of the fish on ice to keep them from rotting to quickly, he relented and beckoned for a servant with a bell. Standing with the tray of fish in hand, the Führer met the Bradley family servant at the door keeping it partly closed. He wasn't ready to reveal his furry secret just yet and handed the man the fish.

"Sir?" The servant questioned with a great amount of puzzlement on his face, seeing the raw platter of fish under his nose.

"Just a late night snack," Bradley told him like it was nothing, nothing at all. "Keep it on ice for later."

"Indeed," drawled the servant dryly, and thought. _The Führer could be so weird!_ He took the fish and hurried off.

King Bradley sighed and took at seat in his armchair once more and picked up his now cold cup of tea. He drank it anyways and sat back. Instead of returning to his racy book he picked up a newspaper that sat on a shelf behind him. He was content that he'd fulfilled his desire for mischief tonight and even more fulfilled when the beast jumped up on his lap, after it had finished its dinner and settled down to sleep.

Who knew that petting a cat could be so calming?

* * *

In the morning, Alphonse and Edward returned to headquarters to seek out some books in the restricted area. Ed was devouring the contents of one particular book as Al began to fidget. He was still thinking about the white kitten that had gotten away from him in inside Central Command. He wondered if it was still around.

It made his heart hurt that the poor creature could be lost or hungry and it if it was, it would be _all_ his fault.

"Brother, I'm just going to take a walk. I'll be right back," he explained quickly and stood up.

"Sure, sure... whatever," Ed murmured and waved a hand absentmindedly at his younger brother.

Al left the library and began to wander around Central Command freely. He checked the phone room. He checked the mess hall. He even checked a few broom closets. Nothing...

He'd been all over the huge building when he heard someone clear their throat. He turned around to see it was Führer King Bradley.

"Oh my, King Bradley, sir!" he exclaimed.

Bradley looked up at Al and gave him a pleasant smile, but as he did so he also noticed a complaint tacked onto a bulletin board next to Al's large shoulder. It read:

_Food Thief on the Loose! _

_Last night food was stolen from the staff kitchen. If you have ANY information on the suspect please report to the Military Hospitality Sector Main Office. Located in Rm # 302_

_Thank you! _

Bradley's eye widened slightly and he steered Al away from the bulletin board calmly, "Let's walk, shall we?"

"Uh, sure, sir," Al responded notably nervous.

They began to walk down the hallway, through a corridor, through a courtyard and into another hall, many curious eyes following their wake. And the whole time the Führer didn't say a word.

Al was becoming concerned. "Sir... where are we going?" he wondered.

"Just to find a little privacy," explained Bradley. "You see, I think I know what has you wandering all over Central Command."

Al shrunk a little in stature. "You do, sir?" His voice sounded tight. _How did the Führer know that?_ He thought about the white kitten. "Do you mean, you—"

"—found a cute little kitten? Why yes, I did, Alphonse," King Bradley finished for him but he didn't sound upset in the least.

In fact, Al would say he sounded rather delighted. The large suit of armour released a relieved sigh.

"Tell me, how is that brother of yours doing, the Fullmetal?" Bradley asked as he walked with his hands behind his back, not even looking at Al.

"He's very well, sir. He's busy reading some books in the library."

"It's so delightful to see two talented young men so diligent in their pursuit. It's a rarity these days." Bradley stopped outside of a closed door. "We're at my personal residence now. This is my reading room."

"Are you going to give me trouble for losing a kitten inside your house, sir?" Al was nearly sweating bullets now.

The Führer only laughed. "Calm down, Alphonse. I only wanted to show you that your kitten is in good hands. I assure you, you have nothing to worry about," he said in a soothing tone that only the Führer could fabricate.

As Bradley opened the door a little boy with short black hair, dressed in schoolboy clothes, sat on the floor next to the kitten. He was petting it softly.

"Father!" the boy cried as Bradley wandered into the office followed by a giant suit of armour. "Oh wow! Who is _that?!_"

"This here is, Alphonse, Selim." King Bradley told the boy, walking over and roughing up his hair tenderly. "This is the Little Alchemist's younger brother."

Selim stared at Alphonse with big curious eyes.

"Hi, Selim," Al said happily. He felt a lot better now knowing that he wasn't about to get in trouble, and that Selim seemed to be really happy about the kitten that was stretched out on the floor waiting for a good scratching.

"He seems to really like you." Al knelt next to Selim on the floor inside the posh study room, clearly fit for kings. "Does this mean this kitten has found a new home with the Bradley's?!"

"That would be correct, Alphonse," King Bradley said cheerily.

Selim gave a hoot of happiness. "Yay!"

"Now you can be rest assured that no harm will come to this little guy and you may put an end to your worries." The Führer looked down and appeared surprised as the kitten immediately began to thread around his ankles. He chuckled, "Well, he seems to like me. What a coincidence."

Al was up on his feet feeling completely light of heart now. He couldn't have hoped for a better home for this stray kitten. "I'm so happy about this. It's so nice to see that you both love animals as much as I do. Well, if you don't mind, I think I've left my brother doing all the work by himself longer than I should have. I should get back to him," Al explained.

"Of course, Alphonse," the Führer said.

"Bye Armour-san!"

Al bowed politely, "Bye, sir. Bye, Selim."

Bradley watched the boy whose soul was attached to that armour leave the study. When he felt his presence gone completely, he narrowed his eyes at Pride—Selim to everybody else.

"Don't look at me that way, Wrath." Pride picked himself up off the floor and turned his back on the kitten. He couldn't care less about it. "You're the one that put us into this situation—caring for a stupid animal."

"It bothers me not what you think, Pride. I found it, so I'm keeping it," Wrath replied stubbornly.

"Oh yeah...? Well, we'll see what Father says about that." Pride sneered, always acting like the bossy older brother.

Now it was Bradley's turn to look smug. "I already got permission from Father. I did so this morning. He doesn't care as long as it doesn't interfere with his plans."

Pride seemed surprised. "He's always favouring you, Wrath. You always get away with insubordination. It sickens me just how _human_ you can be sometimes."

"Ridiculous." Wrath gave a sniff.

When Pride left the room in a huff, Bradley picked up his new pet.

"Simply ridiculous," he told the kitten softly and rubbed behind its ears.

* * *

**A/N:** I remembered hearing once that the act of petting a cat is great stress relief and calms people down. I thought that if anyone could use such therapy, it would be Bradley lol! Thanks sincerely for reading!


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